Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
