I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
