I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
