Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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