I think I am morally bankrupt
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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