Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
