Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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