nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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