Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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