Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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