still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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