Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
