There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize