So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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