I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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