DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
