Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
