I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
