I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
