ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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