It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He? As in you personified your dick?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
