Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
