Can Purell be used as lube?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
