grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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