is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
