We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize