Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
