I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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