I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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