I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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