I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
this is an emotional support booty call
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
