I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
