If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
