yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
