Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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