I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
