whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
