She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
