You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
