thus making me awesome and them whores
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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