Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
