shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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