Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
