Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
