How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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