Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
