just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
