I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
