I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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