I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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