she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
