so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
