Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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