Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
her vagine was all disorganized.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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