I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
