He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
