sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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