I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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