I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
