omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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