I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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