Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
How external is "for external use only"?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
