Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
