what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i already hear my dad disowning me
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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