The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
