Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
