just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
