everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
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No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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I have feelings that need drinking.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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