I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sorry about my life...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
