We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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