yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
