he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
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I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
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I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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